Advocating for Yourself

If you don’t speak up, the outcome you prefer may be cast aside due to someone else’s preference. When it’s a minor inconvenience—having Mexican when you were craving Greek for dinner—it might not feel compelling to speak up. However, it’s important to recognize instances when asserting your opinion or preference is critical.

Why It’s Challenging

There are many common reasons why people may suppress their opinion. When the opinion differs from the masses (like in a group meeting when everyone seems to be on board with the “other” way), it can feel uncomfortable to go against the grain. If there is an authority figure in play (perhaps a medical specialist is strongly urging for a treatment option or type), it can seem intimidating to question them. Or when emotions may run high (spouse may feel strongly about a topic and offering a divergent opinion may seem offending), it might feel safer to stay quiet.

Reframe Your Position

In situations where it feels like you’re outranked, it’s important to recognize your role and that speaking up is valuable. If you are in a meeting, let’s assume your input is valued. By internalizing your ideas or concerns you may be withholding a valuable perspective that others have overlooked. In decisions regarding your medical care, it’s key to recognize the importance of “fit” for your care based on your preferences and priorities. If you planned a grand vacation, you might consider an elective procedure at a later date instead of immediately. Likewise, if a spouse feels strongly about a shared topic—like whether to attempt IVF for a 3^rd time—but you have a differing opinion, talking through the details of financial and emotional investment together is proper rather than accepting a unilateral decision even if the decision made together is the same outcome.

Feel unsure how to start tough conversations? Consider life coaching to find ways to better advocate for yourself so you are prepared for when it may matter most.