Handling Disappointment

When things could be going better, but they are not, it’s important to handle disappointment appropriately.

First, determine your level of control. Are you disappointed it’s raining when you had outdoor plans? Rest assured you cannot control the weather and should set your sights on acceptance and concession. Or, maybe you are disappointed that your presentation did not got well and this is directly related to poor preparation on your part. Acceptance is still important, but modification will be valuable to minimize future disappointments.

If we consider all of the things that are not in our control, the list would be overwhelming. We control our actions and our reaction to things, and that’s where it ends. We cannot control how others will receive our actions. We can focus on us and us alone.

Focus on what you can control and release what you can’t.

Did you do everything you could to make a good impression by being prepared and relatable only to meet with someone who’s mind was already made up and disinterested? You could drive yourself crazy trying to analyze what you did wrong, what you “shoulda/woulda/coulda” done differently, or how you might dazzle them a different way at the next opportunity. You may even find a solution. But, if you’re looking for inner peace and improved ability to sleep at night, a shifted mindset of acceptance might be the better answer (in addition to a solution when possible).

Returning to the weather example: You planned an outdoor wedding and it rains. You can’t change that. Designing ways to ensure you can proceed with plans might be appropriate. For example, you could have a plan B—change to indoors, have a tent, have a rain date. In short, you could have options to roll with it. If you don’t have those safeguards in place, there’s nothing else you can do. Getting upset isn’t going to make the sun come out, but you can control how you process the situation.

What if you meet someone important to your future when they are in a non-helpful mood? What do you do when you’ve done “everything right” but someone lets you down? You have every right to feel disappointed, but now comes the next step: dealing with it positively.

Need help figuring out how to move forward with disappointment? You are not alone. Consider life coaching to find tailored options for your situation.