Self-worth assessment: What’s your worthiness?

We have all had days when we feel “less than.” It could be based on imposter syndrome, comparisons to others, or just not embodying the life or the actions we feel we should be at now. Enter the doubts about worthiness.

When you are feeling down or like you’re failing, it’s easy to let feelings of inadequacy spill from one aspect of life to another. When there’s a tough day at work, perhaps that seeps into your relationships at home. When you feel like you’re missing your personal goals (like exercising 3 times a week), it is easier to give up on the other goals (like eating well and setting aside time for proper rest). We forget we don’t have to be the best at everything, but can instead enjoy participating. When we have low self-worth, these feelings can spiral into being even harder on ourselves. We do not feel like we are enough.

Assess Your Worth

To avoid spiraling, check your feelings for which are accurate and productive vs. which are related to poor self-worth or being too hard on yourself.

Here’s a quick and dirty way to assess worthiness:

While this may seem like an oversimplified joke, I assure you it is not. We can get bogged down in comparisons—looks, belongings, relationships, net worth, and popularity to name a few—but everyone is worthy of love, respect, and acknowledgement. Nothing about a bank account, job title, or relationship status changes your worthiness.

When Do You Feel Unworthy?

Since we’ve established everyone is worthy, the better question to address this feeling is to ask yourself WHEN do you not feel worthy. Can you identify what topics or environments make you second-guess yourself? Is it work knowledge? Relationship status? Something to do with income compared to others? Self-reflection on worth, while admittingly challenging, is a gateway towards improving inner monologue. Once we have a better understanding of when we do not feel adequate in a role or place, we can work more specifically around these scenarios and improve our sense of contribution and worth.

Why Do You Feel Unworthy?

Once you know “when”, ask yourself WHY that makes you feel less worthy.

Perhaps you don’t make as much as your friend, but is that an accurate measurement to you for success? What if making that amount kept you from having the time and energy to spend with family or friends or pursuing your hobbies. Perhaps your job title doesn’t sound as flashy as you’d like. Does someone’s job title truly equate to the importance of the work they are doing? Think of unheralded, service-type jobs like trash removal. What would our world look like without this important maintenance?

Try asking yourself these basic questions of “when” and “why” to better understand your assumptions and thoughts surrounding worthiness. If you want help developing your self-worth, book a life coaching session to start realizing that you are enough right now. Not when you get the promotion. Not when you buy the dream home. Not when you lose the extra weight. You can do this. Let me help.