“Not Your Performance” Anxiety

How do you deal with performance anxiety when it’s not your performance? As March madness continues, I am privy to some interesting behaviors related to this. Of course, game time antics are expected—cue the dog moving to the other room to avoid clapping and yelling—but what about the pre-game preparation?

There is the usual fail-safe of recording the game in case errands before tipoff run long and there is traffic. For extra measure, you preemptively reboot the set-top box which has been glitchy. You optimize the day’s schedule to reserve the full viewing period and quiet distractions such as text messages that might be a jinx. And let’s not delve into the superstitions about what to wear, where to sit, or who’s in the room.

While currently using a sports example, this applies to other performances like a child’s first solo or partner’s big presentation. What can you do when you have anxiety about something you cannot control?

Recognition is the first step

Being aware of 1) the anxiety and 2) the lack of control is an important first step in trying to cope with building energy surrounding the upcoming performance. The sooner we realize unwashed socks will not be *the* deciding factor, the better.

Minimize stress

If you are worried about timing, arrive early. If you are worried about preparation, start well in advance. Minimize interruptions as applicable (unless part of coping is diving into distractions). Get a good night’s sleep and remember to stay hydrated and nourished so your body can handle the psychological stressors more easily. Lastly, BREATHE. Without a full biology lesson, breathing exercises with a controlled, long exhale stimulate the parasympathetic system which helps reduce stress related to the “fight or flight” response.

Define the impact of the event

Although we always hope for the best, the old adage “you can’t win them all” is certainly tried and true. If they don’t win the big game, nail the presentation, or hit all the right notes, tomorrow will still come. Learning to accept the event for a controlled moment vs allowing the repercussions to feed a snowball effect of anxiety can be helpful where applicable.

Want help with dealing with things out of your control or learning how to manage anxiety and cope with stress? Use the free 30-minute consult to discussed how life coaching could help you improve!