It is exciting when things are in place and a couple decides to try for a child. So often traditional timelines say this is the expected next step. But what happens when you and your partner decide you’re ready, yet find repeated disappointment month after month?
Initially trying to conceive may begin promisingly, but over time emotions may turn to more of an anxiety or feelings of failure as hope fades and time passes. After 12 months of unsuccessful efforts, the official term of “infertility” applies. What could possibly be wrong? Turns out, it could be a lot.
Treatment extends beyond tests
While many know to seek medical treatment for infertility, few address the related mental health concerns. Both partners can feel a wide range of emotions including: shame, guilt, sadness, hopelessness, low self-worth, and disconnection (personal and romantic).
Infertility can feel isolating. Discussing conception challenges may be considered taboo and too personal for polite conversation. There is a push to destigmatize infertility and miscarriages through awareness and candid conversation such as this and this, but continued efforts are needed to understand primary and secondary losses related to infertility specifically. You are not alone. In fact, according to the CDC around 12% of women (aged 15 to 44 years) have difficulty getting pregnant or carrying to term.
You have options
If you or someone you know are experiencing infertility, find help physically and mentally. Own the conversation and talk openly, at your pace and comfort, about your struggles. If you need support beyond friends and family, there are many resources including mental health professionals, infertility counselors/coaches, and organizations. Here is a good list of groups for various topics.
Connect today to begin working on the mental health implications of infertility. If you are unsure how to start, use my free 30-minute consult to get some ideas that are tailored to you.